Fantasy Baseball Preview

Hey there sports fans.

The single greatest cause for significant other fights is upon us. That's right. You guessed it. Fantasy Baseball. The time when you can ask your girlfriend if you should pick up Coco Crisp or Joey Gathright, and if that pick is a bust, it's entirely her fault. I, for one, love it. Especially when my girlfriend picks based on the appeal fo the players names. I had a team full of Hiram Bocachica and Boof Bonser. We broke up. We didn't, but close.

Anyways, this is by no means based on an intricate calculation of statistics or trends. It's just my own personal opinion on players. And as such, there are a few players who I hate with a passion of a thousand suns. I'm looking at you Ryan Garko.

Baltimore Orioles:
People who I like:
Brian Roberts- good for .280 , 40-50 stolen bases, and a very good lead off man.
Nick Markakis- he's a stud. A very solid pick
Adam Jones- could be a potential sleeper. He has great speed and is only going to get better.
Matt Wieters- shock! just about every analyst is salivating over his nuts, but he has potential to be great

People who I will never ever ever ever draft:
Aubrey Huff- you may be tempted to draft him after his last year offensive explosion. But from my experience of playing baseball for my entire life, you hit what you should hit. He doesn't hit over 30 home runs.

Boston Red Sox
Potential sleepers:
Jed Lowrie- showed flashes of producing solid numbers at the big league level last year. Is a steal in the late rounds as a number 2 shortstop
John Smoltz- doesn't come off the DL until June. But, c'mon. He's Smoltz. He'll be throwing 95 with a wicked slider to his grandchildren and then mock them for not hitting it. Oh yea, and they'll be 6.

People who I like:
Jacoby Ellsbury- he's sooo fast. Not a lot of power but gets a shit ton of stolen bases
Dustin Pedroia- He is good. But don't fall into the trap of drafting him in the top 4 rounds
Youk- hate the beard but he's good.
Dice-K- you get what you get. He'll walk the bases loaded every inning but give up 1 run over 5 with 2 hits, 11 k, and 8 walks
Jon lester- came back from cancer. Enough said. he's dirty and he was throwing mid to high 90s by the end of last year

People who i hate-
Jason Varitek- i wouldn't draft him if you paid me. i'd rather have henry blanco and paul bako's illegitimate love child

Yankees
Sleepers:
Phil Hughes- so much disappointment may make the other owners weary of him. Could be a steal late

People who I like
A-Rod- ALEX MAD! ALEX SMASH! TAKE REVENGE ON WORLD! just watch when he hits 60 homers and 140 RBIs.
Mark Teixeira- anyone with an X in their name is good. Plus he's sooooo good
Robinson Cano- coming off an ok season. His value has dropped. A good 7th or 8th round pick
Chien-Ming Wang- devastating sinker and he only started 13 games last year. He's fresh and he has won 18 games in his first two seasons each
Joba- he's good. you know it. i know it. enough said

People who are declining
Johnny Damon- i hate him. he needs long hair. but then he still sucked
Hidek Matsui- too injury prone but could be a steal late
Derek Jeter- is like michael young. only singles and isn't stealing as many bases

Tamba Bay (devil) rays
People who I like
Carl Crawford- duh
Evan Longoria- he's very very good, but DONT DRAFT HIM IN THE 2nd ROUND
David Price- there's a shock
Matt Garza- dirty stuff, but watch out for the I just threw the most innings of my life and now my arm feels like jello

People I don't like
Scott Kazmir- elbow problems scare me

Toronto Blue Jays
People who I like
Roy Halladay- is a complete game monster
B.J. Ryan- seems to be over tommy john

Skepical people
Vernon Wells and Alex Rios- may not be worth it if you want to keep your hair when they both hit 18 home runs

Chicago White Sox
People I like
Alexei Ramirez- he will be drafted too high but if he falls to you he's only getting better
Carlos Quentin- he's native american strong
A.J.- is a solid catcher. you know what you'll get
Jenks- solid but watch out for injuries
Gavin Floyd and John Danks- they're very good but both pitched over 200 innings for the first time and that is never good for young pitchers

People who I will noly draft in the round higher than the 40 yeard dash
Thome, Konerko, Dye- they are what they are. I do think Konkero has one more monster year in him especially after seeing him in tear the cover off the ball in the playoffs last year

Cleveland
Sleepers
Shin-Soo Choo- bless you. I mean he's pretty solid. Kind of like Hee-Seop Choi but with power
Travis Hafner- he has probably fucked over every owner in your league and might be the greatest pick in the late rounds, especially if he remembers how to hit

Minor Leaguers
Matt LaPorta- will be in the majors sometime. he's sooo good
Adam Miller- throws 100. enough said

People who i like
Grady- 30-30. who doesn't like that, plus he's easy on the eyes and he nodded at me at a cleveland-seattle game
Victor Martinez- a little injury prone but is very good
Jhonny Peralta- just because he spells his name Jhonny
Kerry Wood- it might be blasphemous for the Cubs fans but the Indians will have a ton of games to save

People who I mortally hate
Ryan Garko- he crushes the white sox every game. like Darin Jackson on the field

Sleepers:
Brandon Inge- has catcher eligibility but will play 3rd so will get more hrs, rbi, and runs than a normal catcher

People who I like
Justin Verlander- coming off a down year but was amazing 2 years ago when he threw his 200 plus innings
Curtis Granderson- leads the league in triples and is a great centerfielder from UIC
Miguel Cabrera- will hit 35-40 hrs and drive in 120
Whoever their closer is- Rodney or Zumaya. Zumaya loves guitar hero and he reminds me of Axel Steel

Kansas City Royals
Sleepers:
Billy Butler- what a great baseball name
Kila Ka'aihue- first basemen from Hawaii. coolest name ever plus it has an apostrophe

People I like
Zach Greinke- he's clinically insane, but I like that...a lot
David Dejesus- very solid 5th outfielder
Joakim Soria- developed into the one of the league's most dependable closers last year

People who I don't like
Brian Bannister- cost me my fantasy league last year. that bitch. when i didn't start him he threw a 7 inning 2 hitter. when i started him...9 runs in 3, 7 runs in 2 1/3. i hate him sooo much
Mike Aviles- sophomore slump. i just have a feeling

Twinkies
People i like
Carlos Gomez- in round 11, a CF who could steal 60+ bases
Justin Morneau- duh. except for the 2nd half of 2007, has been one of the most productive hitters since 2006
Joe Mauer- again duh, but i won't draft him because i don't draft catchers until the 20th round or later
Joe Nathan- soo good. i hate rooting for him but he's so dirty

LAA-
Sleepers:
Brandon Wood- if you need a 2nd shortstop and you don't wanna draft Julio Lugo

People who I like
Vlad- he's old but he's the IMPALER
Chone Figgins- he can play everywhere. he doesn't get as many stolen bases but is still very solid in the teen rounds
John Lackey
Joe Saunders- people just couldn't him last year for whatever reason. He did throw a ton of innings

Oakland A's
Sleepers:
Joey Devine- closer

People who I like-
Matt Holliday- i know he's leaving Coors but he's a good hitter
Justin Duchscherer- but be cautious because he became a little bit more vulnerable at the end of last year

People who I don't like
Brad Ziegler- he opened up the year with a 32 inning scoreless streak because of his funky release. but a lot like SHINGO, hitters will eventually figure it out and turn that 89 mile per hour fast year very very far

Texas Rangers
Sleepers:
Chris Davis- not any more since Steve Philips is ruining my life and telling everyone my money picks. He's like Adam Dunn but playing in Texas. he has 1st and 3rd base eligibility and hits the ball into the stratosphere

People who I hate a gigantic crush on
Ian Kinsler- how can you resist those curls? He's only getting better

People who I would have liked to party with
Josh Hamilton- too soon???? i wanna be the friend who hangs with him at all times and doens't tempt him to do drugs. How sweet is that life?

People who to be very very very cautious of:
Michael Young- his power numbers has gone down every year for the past 6 and he's moving to 3rd base- so no power

I will never draft a Rangers starting pitcher- god damn kevin millwood and vicente padilla- the ugliest man in the world. it looked like he got hit in the face with a shovel

Mariners:
I like:
Ichiro- here's a fun fact. Ichiro's favorite food is rice. Thanks SafeCo
Felix Hernandez
Brandon Morrow- whether he closes or starts he has dual eligibility and is nasty

Braves
People I like
Yunel Escobar- i can't figure out who he plays like but it's kind of like if Spanish from the Rookie played shortstop
Kelly Johnson-a consistent second basemen
Chipper Jones- he hit over .360. who does that?
Brian McCann- maybe the best offensive catcher in the league

Sleeper:
Jeff Francoeur- hit .217 last year but 2 years ago hit over .300
Tommy Hansen- i watched a minor league game today and his curveball is so beautiful that i openly wept. he probably will start in the minors but chipper jones said that they should have a 6 man rotation so that he can pitch

Marlins
I only like Hanley, but watch for them to win the world series because they won 12 years ago and 6 years ago

Mets
People I like-
Jose Reyes
John Maine- single handedly won me 500 dollars 2 years ago

People who I will never draft even with a gun to my head-
Carlos Delgado-
Francisco Rodriguez- he's losing his fastball and threw a lot last year

Philadelphia Phillies
Sleepers:
Ronny Paulino- the rest of their catchers suck, I'm looking at you Chris Coste. so he should get a lot of at-bats
People who I like
The Big 3, Shane Victorino, Cole Hamels, Brad Lidge

Washington Nationals:
Adam Dunn- let's see if he can hit the ball out of RFK

Cubs
The problem with the Cubs is that everyone likes them and they get drafted too high
People who I like-
A-Ram
D-Lee
Geo
RIch Harden
Ryan theRiot

Cincinnati Reds
People who I like
Brandon Phillips- he's ghetto and ghetto equals good
Joey Votto- i think he will at least have two games of at least 3 home runs

Sleepers:
Aaron Harang- had a horrible year last year but is normally good
Wily Taveras- very fast

Astros
People I like
Lance Berkman- the big Puma. I love Pumas and ergo I love Lance
Carlos Lee- el caballo, that's spanish for the caballos. i wish the white sox still have him
Roy Oswalt- is a very very very good pitcher
Jose Valverde- wears his heart on his sleeve and I like that

People who did steroids, won't admit it, but pleaded guilty to perjury
Miguel Tejada

Brewers
People I like-
Ryan Braun- the hebrew hammer, need I say more
Prince Fielder- proceed with caution (he became a vegan and his power numbers went down)
Corey Hart- I'm so smart that I picked him up two years ago and pissed him away for Jeremy Hermida
Yovanni Gallardo- his ACL injury might have been the best thing for him to save his arm

Pirates:
People who are ok- Nate McLouth

Cardinals-
People who I like-
Albert Pujols- baseball has been very very good to me
Adam Wainwright- is really good

People to be cautious of:
Ryan Ludwick- sophomore slump but he is 28 when most players take off

People to watch
Chris Carpenter- he may close

Diamondbacks
Sleepers: Max Scherzer - he has filthy stuff plus he has a good scrabble name
People who I like- Stephen Drew, Mark Reynolds, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton, Dan Haren, Brandon Webb

Rockies
People I like-
Troy Tulowitski- one of the best young shortstops

People to take with a grain of salt-
Aaron Cook- he's very hittable so has a high WHIP
Huston Street- I love him. He warmed up at 3rd base on Texas. Biggest baller

LA Dodgers
People who I like-
Matt Kemp- nickname the Bison and has one of the best youtube clips of all time
Chad Billingsley, Hiroki Kuroda, Clayton Kershaw- all have great stuff as seen by cubs fans
Jonathan Broxton- very big, very strong, throws very hard
Rafael Furcal- if healthy, will be so good

Padres
I like Adrian Gonzalez, Jake Peavy, Heath Bell

Giants
I like
Tim Lincecum- duh
Matt Cain- if his team only scored runs

There you go. Sorry I got tired toward the end