The Weekly Prescription

This weekly post will attempt to unite real world pharmacology with ailments of the typical Chicago sports fan. For our first look (and I want to make perfectly clear that these are merely musings and in no way a slight of the actual diseases affecting people) I will be prescribing lithium. Lithium is the oldest and most well-known mood stabilizer. It is highly effective for treating mania, and is usually the first line of treatment. Lithium is also effective for treating bipolar depression, particularly when combined with another medication such as an antidepressant. As I hope this to be evident, being a Chicago sports fan requires a certain level of bipolarity, otherwise one could not survive the frustration.

For a great example we look to the past four Bulls games. Last Tuesday night, the Bulls handed the Orlando Magic, one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference, a solid defeat. They played a team game, limited mistakes, and hit a ridiculous amount of their shots. One night later, they traveled to New Jersey and saw their game fall apart in the fourth quarter. Granted Devin Harris is playing out of his mind, but that does not explain how Ben Gordon still thinks the best way to spark a comeback is to leave his man open and take a shot as soon as he crosses half-court. Regardless this may have been a case of the post-big-win-letdown, but how can you make a playoff run unless you establish some form of consistency?

Fast forward two days. The Bulls traveled to the nation's capital to take on the worst, and arguably most depressing team in the East. Coming into this game, the Bulls should have been thinking about starting to get their act together, especially now that the new guys have had a couple games in the system. In fact, the leader of the free world invited the team to his new house to give them a little encouragement. You'd think that the President's seal of fandom would elicit a big performance...and it did...from our opponents, the lowly Wizards. The Bulls played like they were just in uniform for show. The complete lack of effort in a game that should have been an easy win seemingly would infuriate a coach, and yet Vinny stood idly by, enjoying his role as the poster child for ineptitude. No yelling, no fire, just confusion and Joakim's hair.

All of this culminated in Saturday night's home game against Houston. For 3 painstaking quarters, the Bulls looked like they were ready to just call it a night and take the loss. But then Derrick Rose decided that he wasn't quite ready to hit the showers. Along with Ben Gordon, the two guards combined to lead the Bulls on a 23-3 run to end the game, erasing a 17 point Rocket lead with under 6 minutes to go. Whether that speaks more to the Rockets' inability to close out the game or to the passion with which the rookie point guard played the last 12 minutes, the Bulls emerged victorious.

As such, the only cure right now for the Chicago sports fan is to start a dose of lithium because regardless of whether it's Tyrus getting blocked on a dunk and then later emphatically posterizing Yao, or Soriano gearing up to swing and miss at the first three pitches he sees on Opening Day and then hit the first one of his next at-bat onto Waveland, or Jerry Angelo preparing to take the best athlete from a D-II school because his game film is "electric" and then drafting Andre Smith with the 18th pick (hey a guy can dream), Chicago is simultaneously home to the most exciting sports mania as well as the most crippling depression. That being said, I'll let those boys in Detroit keep their hockey consistency and watch the bean-lovers in Boston ride another even-keeled Patriots season to the playoffs because for me it's the adrenaline rush that comes as you reach the top of the roller coaster that is Chicago sports that keeps me coming back...and sometimes leaving with an empty stomach.