Movie Baseball All-stars

Having watched For Love of the Game this weekend, I have decided that in a playoff game, I want Billy Chapel to pitch for my team. This got me thinking, what other movie baseball players would I want on my team. The only caveat is that I am not choosing any major league baseball player, so no Ken Griffey Jr in Little Big League, or any old guy in Field of Dreams.

SP: Billy Chapel- the man threw a perfect game at Yankee Stadium at the age of 60. No that was Costner, but Chapel has to be at least 40.

SP: I admit that I forgot the best pitcher in all baseball movies. Steve Nebraska. He signed a $55 million contract to pitch in game 1 of the world series. Boy was it worth it. He threw 81 pitches, 81 strikes, 27 strike outs. And he had the game winning solo home run. What did he do in his other at bats? But that's beyond the point, Steve Nebraska is awesome.

SP: He-en-ry-y Ro-o-o-en-en-en-gard-ner. The entire season is resting on Roengardner’s shoulder. He’s 12 and throws 100. Not only did he blow cheese past the likes of Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla, but he shows a command of off speed pitches like the floater pitch to Hedo.

SP: Nook Laloosh. Anyone who looks at the sky and doesn’t pick up his catcher until the ball is released has to be one of my favorite starting pitchers. Granted he couldn’t hit you if you’re standing 2 feet in front of him, but what a live arm.

SP: Kit Keller. It must be hard pitching in a skirt and from what I can gather, she’s good to throw a complete game every time.

SP: Mel Clark. That’s right, the smoking and dying Tony Danza in Angels in the Outfield. Somehow gave up three runs in the playoff game when he threw 159 pitches. He was throwing less than 45 mph but who’s counting.

SP: Ryan Dunne played by Freddie Prinze Jr. in Summer Catch. He’s a lefty who can a heavy 98 mph. Plus he’s quite good looking.

SP: Tatum O’Neal as Amanda Whurlitzer. She’s a girl who can throw it past guys.

Honorable mention: Blackout from Little Big League

RP: Ricky Vaughn. He’s exactly what you want in a closer. One great pitch, a little crazy, and a great entrance music. He also has the cojones to intentionally walk the bases loaded to pitch to Haywood.

RP: The DUKE. This guy threw at his own son in a father-son game.

1B: Lou Collins. He should have won the playoff game against the Mariners if it weren’t for a web gem by Griffey. Plus he banged the manager’s mom. Classic.

2B: Michael Squints Pomodorous. Wendy Peffercorn. Enough said.

Back-up 2B: Marla Hooch. If she were a boy she’d be playing for the Yankees. Heck, she still should be playing for the Yankees.

SS: Kofi Evans. Hardball. I love it when you call me big poppa!

3B: Roger Dorn. He’s such a team player that he’s willing to lose his sight over a ground ball….I may have that backwards

C: Crash Davis. He leg the minor leagues in home runs and judging from field of dreams and Tin Cup, he can switch hit.

Back-up catcher- Dottie Hensen. I’m pretty sure she didn’t make an out the entire season. Plus, what did she do in her other at-bats against her sister in game 7 of the world series? Also, what girl can hit the ball over 400 feet?

Bullpen catcher- Hamilton Porter. He gave everybody the line, is that your sister in left field, naked? You think she’ll go out with me?

Honorable mention catcher- Jake Taylor. He couldn’t cut it in the Mexican league, but he can make the team.

RF- Roy Hobbs. The Natural. He hit over .300 and over 40 home runs with a home made bat. Plus he can pitch if you need him to.

Back-up right fielder. Pedro Cerrano. He can hit a fastball out of the stratosphere, too bad he can only hit a hanging breaking ball in the playoffs.

CF: Willie Mays Hayes. He runs like Hayes and hits like Mays. I only want the Wesley Snipes version because the Omar Epps version had warning track power. You know what they say about warning track power? Nothing.

Back-up CF- Kelly Leak. The one from the original movie. He’s like 12 years old and rides a motorcycle. Plus he almost hit a homerun while being intentionally walked.

Honorable mention- May Morabito. She’s willing to have her uniform pop open and her bosoms fly out. That’s dedication.

LF- Bobby Rayburn from The Fan. He’s a three-time MVP.

Pinch runner: Benny the Jet Rodriguez. He can out run a dog in his PF Flyers and steal home for the Dodgers.

Manager- It’s a tie between Lou Brown and Morris Buttermaker. Either way there should be booze in the dugout after the game.

Announcer- Harry Doyle. If only Bob Uecker was as funny during Brewers games.

Team Groupies: A tie between Jessica Biel as Tenley Parrish, Kelly Preston as Jane, and Susan Sarandon as Annie.